Living Under the Shadow of His Wings

Fear is unfortunately a part of life. No one can tell you that you will never deal with fear or feel fearful from time to time. I think fear is a legitimate emotion that is unavoidable while living on this earth. Fear, however, is not something God wants us to coexist with or make room for in our lives. The Bible is full of verses that discuss fear and how to deal with fear. 

I remember when I was in college, part of our welcome week was discussing dangers around campus. Like most campuses, mine was not located in what most would consider the safest part of town. There was a high crime rate in the surrounding blocks around our campus. Because we were all new to living on our own, the university leaders made sure we understood how to check our surroundings, not walk alone after dark, check our car etc. The problem came for me when that well intentioned advice turned into a fear that gripped me and would not let go. I became hyper aware of my surroundings and scared to do some things on my own. I would dream about being attacked and hurt. When these fears begin to infiltrate your thoughts and then your sleep, it not only steals your peace and your joy. It can become paralyizing. For me, the spirit of fear became way more real to me in my mind than God. I would not have been able to articulate it at that time in that way, but looking back, I can see it clearly. That is not living victoriously. That is living miserably.

As I got older and grew closer to God, the fear dissipated some. But I also lived alone for over twenty years before I eventually met and married my husband. In those years, I was sometimes very successful in putting fear in its place and other times I did a lot of praying over the doors and windows of my apartment. What I learned during those years was that it made a difference what I fed my spirit and my soul. There were movies and tv shows I could not watch because all it would do would stir up the fear in me. There was music I chose not to listen to because it left me fearful God would not do what He said He would do. Sometimes I was very successful, and other times I would make mistakes and then come back to the Lord with a repentful heart and ask Him to cover my mistakes. He was always faithful to do just that, but it would also require me to say no to every thought the enemy tried to put in front of me that would lead down a fear spiral. 

Psalm 91 is an amazing chapter in the Bible that has always been life giving and peace filling for me. The Psalm is believed to be written by Moses. If you look at Moses’ life, he had many opportunities for fear and even gave into some of those opportunities. He was born at a time when Pharaoh, the King of Egypt, was determined to kill all the male Israelite babies. Moses’ mother hid Moses for as long as possible and then came up with a courageous plan to save Moses. Through her plan, Moses was raised in Pharaoh’s house by Pharaoh’s daughter. Later, when Moses became older, he began to recognize the injustices against the Israelite people. One day, Moses killed an Egyptian that was beating a Hebrew. Moses felt he was righting a wrong when he committed this act. When he was found out, he was fearful and fled to another land to hide. Moses created a life for himself in that land until God came to him and spoke to him about leading the children of Israel out of Egypt and slavery. Moses was not excited about this call on his life. He was fearful. He gave God many excuses why it should not be him. Eventually Moses decided to obey God and do what God was asking but requested that Aaron go with him. 

These men went and stood before Pharaoh and performed many signs and wonders and sent plagues upon Egypt. But Pharaoh’s heart was hardened by God, and he continued to refuse to let the Israelites go. Can you imagine? God has basically sent Moses on an impossible mission, and to make it more impossible God himself hardened Pharaoh’s heart. God didn’t tell Moses it would be easy. He just said He would go with him.

Finally Pharaoh had had enough and relented. He let the Israelites go, but then decided to chase them down. God miraculously parted the Red Sea allowing the Israelites to pass safely to the other side. As the Egyptians chased them, the Red Sea swallowed the Egyptians and the enemy of the Israelites was dealt with. However, Moses’ trials were just getting started.

He dealt with a group of people that had lived in slavery their whole lives. They had a very difficult time listening and trusting God. They complained and whined and wanted to go back to Egypt. They had no idea what personal responsibility looked like which led them to being disrespectful to Moses at times, and when Moses had disappeared from their presence for too long to go meet with God, they built an idol to worship. The Israelites were God’s chosen people, but they really had no understanding of what that meant. Moses continued to stick up for them even in the face of God’s anger at times. 

Through all of these times Moses developed an intimacy with God. He came to understand and deeply value God’s presence. The Bible says in Exodus 33:11 (NKJV) “So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend…” Later, in verse 18 we see Moses ask God to show Him His Glory. The Lord said yes, but also had to protect Moses from the full impact of His glory and presence. Our bodies are not built to handle that much power and presence. So the Lord hid Moses in the cleft of a rock and passed before Moses, so Moses could see His back and experience as much of God as he could handle. What a glorious moment that had to have been!

Returning to Psalm 91 and understanding Moses is the person who wrote the Psalm, I feel like it takes on a deeper meaning with the revelation of Moses’ life. The Psalm begins with verse 1-6, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust. Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler and the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand; But it shall not come near you.”

Now this is a very different Moses than the one hiding in a foreign land arguing with God about if God has the right man to be the deliverer of the Israelites! What made the difference? Moses choosing to trust in God more than the fear that plagued Him. Moses developing a relationship with God that was intimate. He not only wanted God to know Him. He desperately wanted to know every part of God. That desperation caused Him to make a request of God that God could only partially fulfill on this side of heaven, so Moses wouldn’t be killed! Moses truly wanted to know God face to face. Don’t you know that request had to have touched God’s heart!

Psalm 91:8 – 13 continues “Only with your eyes shall you look and see the reward of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge even the Most HIgh, your dwelling place, No evil shall befall you, Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone. You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra, the young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.” Moses is telling of all the great benefits of trusting in God rather than agreeing with fear. When you trust in the Lord, these are all the great promises that are available to you.

Psalm 91 concludes with the Lord answering Moses. Verses 14-16 say, “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.” 

When we choose to open our hearts and feed on God’s promises, it truly does make a difference. When we get to know who God really is, we cannot help but see his unbelievable goodness. He is truly an amazing God that loves us so deeply. He longs to know us and longs to be known by us. God has no desire for us to struggle with things that are not given by Him. He wants us to run to Him with our fears and worries and drop them at His feet and truly believe in His vast goodness. Remember friend, God is always for us, never against us. He wants you to live a life full of victory and abundance! The next time you are afraid, run to Him with your fears. Read Psalm 91 and let your soul feed on the goodness of God. Watch what He will do!

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