Take Heart!

Suffering. This is not a topic I find enjoyable. I would rather discuss the joy of the Lord or the peace of the Lord, or any number of the fruits of the Spirit. Or even better, the victorious and abundant life we have in Jesus. Sign me up for those Bible studies. However, the Bible says, “…In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV). Unfortunately, the Bible does not say you may have trouble or every once in a while a small problem will arise. No, it says you will have trouble. 

Most people do not want to suffer, including me. However, we live in a fallen world where bad things happen. I do know that God does not cause suffering. There is no sickness in Him to give. There is no death and destruction for Him to give, but because we live in a fallen world, trouble will come. I think in the past I always felt that suffering was something missionaries did as they were captured and perhaps killed for their faith, or when we read in the Bible about the sufferings of Peter and Paul and others. However, the truth is that we all experience some suffering in our lives. 

I recently experienced some intense suffering of my own. I was in the hospital for eight months. I was admitted for an infection in my leg. I had surgery to remove the infection, but then things went sideways. My kidneys began shutting down. I was intubated and spent forty days in the ICU. As one doctor told me, I was close to death.

Once I began to regain consciousness and get stronger, they removed the feeding tube. However, I had severe gastroparesis, which resulted in me being nauseated and throwing up every day for about four months. The doctors decided that even though they felt I was not medically strong enough for a gall bladder surgery, they had no choice. The surgery was not simple. My gall bladder was very diseased. However, the Lord sustained me. The surgery was a turning point. I began to eat and drink and regain strength. It felt like a fog had lifted from my brain, and I could think again. 

After further antibiotics and some rehab, I was finally able to come home. The road to recovery has not yet come to an end for me. Being in a hospital bed for eight months will take a toll on your body. I still have physical therapy to regain my strength and stamina, and for right now, I have dialysis for my kidneys. Not only am I having to regain my physical strength, but also my emotional strength. I am continuing to process all that happened, and the journey I have been on. 

One thing I have experienced through all of this is the faithfulness of the Lord. People came out of the woodwork to pray for me. My family, of course, but also friends and friends of friends, and my church family, and nurses, and the janitors in my hospital rooms. I would hear constantly about people praying for me. It is humbling. It strengthened and encouraged me. Especially on days when hope of my circumstances changing eluded me, I would hear of someone praying for me, and it gave me the strength to keep going. I had a physical therapist walk into my hospital room. He did a little work with me and then asked if he could pray for me. He held my hand and prayed a powerful prayer. I never saw him again, but these were the moments that got me through.  

One of the battles I have had to fight mentally and spiritually is poor teachings that seeped into the church. We, as a church, have been told that if you are holy enough and good enough and close enough to God and follow all the rules, sickness will not happen to you. Being the people pleaser that I am, I tried really hard to follow all those rules, but I ended up sick and in the hospital anyway. I had many thoughts: Is God mad at me? But nothing about this is scriptural. We live in a fallen world, and sickness happens. Those rules originate from a religious spirit, and Jesus came to earth and spoke against the religious spirit. He is not for religion. He is about relationship. 

Psalm 23 is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. I would quote it to myself often in the hospital. The passage is filled with promises of how the Lord takes care of us, especially in the midst of trouble. But it also says, in verse 4 (The Passion Translation), “Even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness…” It doesn’t say if you take a wrong turn and end up on a dark path. It says even when YOUR path, meaning God’s path, takes me through the valley of deepest darkness. The rest of verse 4 (The Passion Translation) says, “…fear will never conquer me, for you already have! Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.”

What wonderful promises from the Lord. He doesn’t promise no trouble. But He does promise He will take care of us in the midst of the trouble. In the midst of my continual road to recovery, I am still having to lean on this promise from God. The majority of this dark path is behind me, but I am still having to choose to be comforted by Him as I walk the very slow path of gaining strength and energy and sorting through the emotions of all that I went through.

Your trouble may not look like mine, friend. But it is still a hard thing. It is the path you are having to walk that is deep darkness. But I do know that God is always for us and never against us. He is a good and faithful God. He longs to walk in relationship with us, and He is on that dark path with you. Allow Him to comfort you where you are. He loves us more than we can understand.